Until his encounter with Christ, St. Paul was a faithful Pharisee, strict observer of the Judaic law who hoped to be saved by the law. But his knowledge of Christ (cf. Ph. 3,8) led him to the experience of true freedom, which he paradoxically identified with being “crucified with Christ” (Gal 2, 20), in ever increasing communion with “him”: “I no longer live, it is Christ who lives in me”. He is now a new being (2Cor 5, 17) by the power of Christ and not by the law. He who belongs to Christ has been crucified, for “those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal 5, 24).
By his union with Christ, Claret lived like one who has been crucified to the world. One who has been crucified is dead; Claret was dead to money, prestige or the good life. He had a taste of these “values” in his youth in Barcelona (Aut 66-77). But one day, the Word of God ‘went like an arrow to my heart’ (Aut 68), and revealed to him their vanity. On the other hand, they were leading him astray.
The Word of God (Aut 111 – 120) and spiritual direction (Aut 69) would lead him from being nailed on the cross of the world to being nailed on the cross of the risen Lord. The voice of the Master forced him to discern the will of God for him, the path to his true accomplishment. It is Jesus’ voice that is incarnated in the voice of many spiritual directors: they would guide him in his path to the priesthood, towards mission, to found the Congregation of Missionaries, to accept the archbishopric of Cuba…
Each person has a path for their realization and is obliged to search for it. They have to listen to interior and exterior voices and have to be faithful. Self-sufficiency may lead to self-deceit.
Have you had the experience of un-nailing yourself from the enslaving worldly cross in order to nail yourself to the cross of Christ? Did you seek the help of a spiritual director? How capable are you to open your heart to somebody to be evaluated and guided?